Saturday, June 11, 2016

This blog is not for you is for me.

Naturally I am happy if you read my blog, and even happier if you enjoy it and ecstatic if you get something out of it, but ultimately, I write for me. Not only do I enjoy writing, I find it therapeutic. It is my way of counting to 10. By that I mean when I want to calm down and avoid screaming at someone or something, I sit down and write about it. I google the problem. Frequently google explains it to me in a way that allows me to put things into perspective; writing about it calms me down.

I am not easily angered, but when I am, I tend to internalize and I don't believe that is healthy. Writing, and possibly even more so, researching the issue that annoyed me, helps me to rationalize and get a better perspective.

According to this article, I am improving my health and prolonging my life expectancy by writing:

"The way we feel — especially when we feel hurt or angry — can cause negative effects on the body because of the neurological and neurochemical connections between mind and body. If we experience internalized anger, our nervous and hormone systems react, creating neurotransmitter chemicals that can result in harmful side effects. Those can lead to compromised health as well as compromised personal and professional relationships."
Anger will make people say cruel, hurtful and frequently stupid things which they probably don't mean and should definitely keep to themselves if they do. And while that may prevent the damage caused by internalizing, it can have an equally bad effect on your health, but most definitely will damage your relationships, not to mention hurt people. Saying 'I'm sorry' is all very well but you can't unsay, or unhear what was said.

Another article I found repeats this warning quoting Dr Chris Aiken
"Repressed anger — where you express it indirectly or go to great lengths to control it, is associated with heart disease"
It is interesting to discover how many articles turn up in a google search, recommending writing as a way to deal with anger or other emotional turmoil.

Not everything I write is written in anger, nor because I am emotionally fraught. Sometimes I write because some incident triggers a memory and that evolves into a blog entry. Like this one. Sometimes I observe or hear something that I just have to share; with whom doesn't matter - just anyone or no one. Quite often I just have random thoughts that I need to blow like dandelion seeds into the world, usually not really caring if they get carried away to oblivion on the wind, or land in fertile soil to grow into weeds to start all over all. I just need to blow them out there.

I do appreciate it when someone takes the time to comment, like, retweet, follow, + or share. But whether it is a day that my blog gets only one hit, or one of those days when it gets > 3,000 doesn't really matter a whole lot; in the same way, when I published my book I did no marketing and still don't; I get very excited when someone buys it, and pleasantly surprised if they take the trouble to write a review on Amazon (good or bad) but I didn't write it with any expectations of actually selling it. I write my blog for similar reasons that I wrote the book, because it helps me to gain perspective and along the way it educates me. If it does the same for anyone who happens to read it, that is a bonus. My book was to help me work through all the baggage churned up during therapy. Now I can't stop writing because it is so beneficial.

So, while you are most welcome to read, share, follow me and comment, and if you gain something along the way even better, but my intention is not to make money or sell books, it is ultimately to improve my emotional well being - which in turn does improve my physical well being; and in that I have succeeded.

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