Retirement - week 12

Clearly retirement is going very well, now that I got the hang of it. I can't believe that only two weeks ago I was wondering if I would ever be really comfortable with it.

What do I miss?

I miss my team. Not just the people, of course I miss them - but I am still in touch with them and it saddens me to know how badly they are now being treated. I couldn't have prevented that, I did try. I miss working with them. Our meetings where we constantly worked together coming up with innovative processes to streamline our work. Our team was always too small for the amount of work we had to get done; but we had a secret weapon. Well, it shouldn't have been a secret but Amazon's leadership principles do not foster true team spirit. 

When you put 7 extremely talented engineers together you can either end up with amazing achievements, innovation and success or you will end up with a huge waste of money and time as they all fight to be the best, or at least avoid being the worst. It all depends on whether or not you work as a team. As a team we achieved so much because we supported each other, allowed everyone a voice. We found so many ways to automate time consuming, repetitive tasks. I miss watching those incredible people excel and grow as engineers and human beings.

I miss my car. I know, that is silly. About half way through the 2020 work from home year, we realized my car had been in the garage for 6 months and was likely to stay there for another 6 before I had any need to drive myself anywhere. We sold it. During that year there was nowhere to go, certainly nowhere I needed to go on my own; I was working from home. I wasn't going near hair salon, nail salon, dentist etc. Whenever we went out, we went together. Of course I could buy myself another car. But I can't justify it. The very few occasions now that I need to go somewhere on my own, my husband is happy to act as chauffeur. While I miss my independence, and I doubt I will ever feel comfortable having my husband drive me around as though I was incapable, I can't justify the expense, so far. I don't bother getting my nails done anymore and may even give up on my hair, currently I am getting it cut every three months. That just leaves the dentist.

I miss the healthy pay check each month and I miss the 20 shares I walked away from. I am grateful that I had the good sense to plan financially for retirement, even if I hadn't planned for it to be quite so soon as it was. I had also planned for it to be an occasion for celebration.

Best laid plans as they say.

I miss being someone. That is even sillier than the car. But as the manager of a successful and talented group of engineers, for a company like Amazon, I felt a pride in what we accomplished. Not just for ourselves, not just for Amazon, but for our customers. Yes, no doubt you have come across bugs on Amazon's web site, no doubt some of you have been hit with the 'dog page'. But you have no idea how many more times that would have happened if it were not for our team, and we were only responsible for one page; of course, it was the homepage - the first page you see. An important page. Even outside of work, I was a someone who worked for Amazon. Now I am just another retired old lady. Of course there are silver linings and of course I don't dwell on the negative.

What do I enjoy?

I love that Sunday is a day to relax with no dread of another stressful week. I love that Monday is just another day.

I love that I don't have to worry about being at my desk at a specific time. Yes, I am fairly predictable; up at much the same time each morning, but I don't have to be. If by chance I sleep in for any extra 30 minutes, it doesn't mean I have to miss my workout, it just means that starts a little later. 

I love that I don't have to wait for the weekend to take care of some task, I have time to do whatever I want, whenever I want.

I love that I do not have to deal with the bullying tyrants that drove me out of Amazon. That stress has lifted completely. My shoulder is repaired and almost pain free and I finally sleep well.

And now?

I no longer forget what day it is. I am working on my book, it is slow going but I am making progress. Every so often I return to one, or more, of the Masterclasses just to make sure I am on the right path. When I am not actually writing, my mind is still working on the story. I was beginning to feel guilty about not working on it enough. All of my Masterclass authors specified how important it is to treat it like a job then I realized, it is their job; it is not mine. For me writing is a hobby. I don't expect to be famous or make a fortune. I just want to write. Therefore, it should be on my terms. Once I realized that, the story started to flow more easily. But I only sit down and write when I feel like it. After all, I am retired!

At least twice a week we go out in the boat in the early morning. Most evenings we fish off the dock and watch the sun set over the lake. Occasionally I work on my embroidery in the afternoon - and of course I punctuate my week with indulging myself with my blog.

Going forward?

That all depends on COVID19. My son and his family managed to visit us, from Seattle, for a long weekend. The first time I had seen them in 18 months. That was so incredible. We are all vaccinated and we took extreme precautions and all was well. 

When my husband and I got vaccinated we planned a few days in Las Vegas in September. I was really looking forward to that. This week we canceled it due to the rising alarm with the Delta variant and concern at the low vaccination numbers. We decided it just wasn't worth the risk. We are hoping to go to Seattle for Christmas, but we are holding off booking until we see which way the virus jumps next.

It is now two years since I have seem the rest of my family, spread across Ireland, England and France. Looks like it is going to be another year before I do see them. While Ireland is doing well fighting the virus, France and England are not doing as well. And Texas is one of the worst States in the US when it comes to being safe; vaccination rate is low and way too many people are not masked. I certainly do not want to put my family at risk so I will wait till next year and hopefully things will be under control by then. I do miss them. In the 27 years that I have been in the US this is the longest I have gone without a visit home and time spent with all of my family.

Sadly, I suspect the anti-vaxxers will all have to get the virus and pass away in order to make the world a safe place, or relatively safe again.