When I was working, rightly or wrongly I felt that I was fulfilling an important role; I felt useful and productive. The proof was that I was being paid for my time and I was helping my team grow their careers.
Perhaps if the choice to retire had been mine, I wouldn't feel quite so discarded. Well, of course the choice was mine in theory; as I mentioned before, the alternative was unthinkable. In fact, it would have been worse than I anticipated when I made the decision - given the stories I hear back from all of the members of my team; yes, I keep in touch with them. I care about them and I wish that I could have found a way to stay and prevent them from being as badly treated as they now are.
Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining; OK I am, but not about being retired. I know how very lucky I am. I worked long past retirement age. Though, 10 years ago I would not have been able to afford to retire. I am lucky that, when I was pushed into it, I could afford it - I had saved carefully for just this eventuality. Yes, I worry as the coffers slowly empty but common sense prevails and unless I live to be a ridiculous age and start spending madly, we will be fine. I am not even complaining about the feeling of being discarded. I am complaining about the fact that I knew the situation was wrong and I couldn't correct it. Instead I walked away from it. At least I had that much choice.
Last week I would have celebrated 7 years with Amazon. If the last 7 years have taught me nothing else, I should definitely stop expecting most people to care about anyone but themselves. It is those few who are caring, who have empathy for their fellow human beings that are the exception, not the rule.
Here is a something I wrote back in early 2015. I had totally forgotten about it, more fool me! I definitely need to spend time rereading my blog. There are lessons I clearly have not fully learned.