What and why I write.

I write in part, to clear my head. I cover here, some of the other reasons. 

Sometimes it is as though there are too many thoughts whirling around inside my head and I can't think straight because of them. So, I write them down. I try to keep my posts from meandering around like the mish-match of thoughts and stick to a theme. I do this by starting a number of different posts at the same time, pulling the separate threads out of my head and into some order.

Some of my posts strike me as being a bit pontificating, so if that happens, please forgive me. I am not trying to preach to you, I am trying to clear my head and if anything, lecture myself. What often surprises me is the posts that I feel are the most likely to sound like I believe I am an expert, are the ones that get the most positive reaction. So, I continue. Actually, I would continue anyway because, as I said in another post, this blog is for me. Of course, I also enjoy writing.

Sometimes I start to write and after two paragraphs the thread comes to an abrupt stop. While I don't get a post out of it, at least I get the empty thought out of my head.

Some other posts are essays pulled from my book. As I mentioned here, I wrote a book by accident. I didn't intend it to be a book. It was a therapy for me. Now I revisit some of the chapters and I feel the need to revise and rewrite them. Partly because they are badly written and partly because there is still some healing to be gained from the exercise.

Then there are also a few posts generated by a sense of injustice. Of course I don't believe my writing about them will fix it, but I am compelled to do so anyway, perhaps to ease my own feeling of helplessness. 

An example is when Amazon treated me so badly, essentially condoning bullying and demonstrating that they did not value their staff, that I felt I had no choice but to retire. I agree that Amazon is customer centric and their customer service is great. The problem is that they do not care about their staff. I think Richard Branson has the right attitude.

“Clients do not come first. Employees come first. If you take care of your employees, they will take care of the clients.” ― Richard Branson

I felt compelled to write that post to ease the pain and stress caused to me by the way I was treated, but also to expose the injustice. While I am well aware that my small rant will do absolutely nothing to prevent this happening again to someone else, as I have discovered it happened before to many others, I felt obliged to say it. And no, it didn't really make me feel better. That took months of searching for, and of course finding, silver linings to help me regain my equilibrium. And yes, writing.

I would be lying if I said I don't miss work. I really did enjoy what I was doing and of course, working with my wonderful team. I get bored from time to time, and I write to fill some of those empty hours. Apart from my embroidery and now my yoga adventure. 

I have to say, I am really beginning to feel the benefits of the yoga exercises I am attempting to master. And, true to my plan to live in the moment, I am celebrating the small improvements each time I hit the mat. But writing is still my first and main distraction.